


fugue

by Euna



Series: sports au snapshots [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dissociation, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, sports AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25562380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euna/pseuds/Euna
Summary: Sometimes Dimitri retreats and gets lost, travelling to far off places where Felix cannot follow. But Felix waits for him just the same.He knows there isn't much he can do for Dimitri when he's like this, but he can take care of the little things. Getting him out of these clothes and into something dry seems like a good place to start.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: sports au snapshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852468
Comments: 20
Kudos: 104





	fugue

**Author's Note:**

> a snapshot into my sports au-verse

Felix wakes to the sound of a howling cat.

Judging by the ache of his eyes, and the darkness outside his window, it must be the early hours of the morning. The hand that rubs some of the sleep from his eyes falls to his side, and is met with empty sheets.

Dimitri is conspicuously absent. He'd come to bed earlier (Felix remembers kissing him goodnight and Dimitri's arm curled around his waist before he passed out), but now his side of the bed is cold.

The howls continue. Desperate, intense, getting louder.

Felix sits up. His heart pounds as he throws off the covers and slips out of bed, following the noise. He fumbles in the dark for his doorknob, cursing when he trips over what has to be Dimitri's gym bag, and yanks his door open to the hall. As his brain fog clears, he realizes he can hear the sound of running water now as well.

His heart seizes when he spots a line of light shining beneath the bathroom door where Dimitri's rescue, Sabre, is clawing and meowing in distress. Sabre trains his beady eyes on Felix when he approaches and meows once more, winding figure eights around Felix's legs. Felix leans down to scratch behind his ears and smooths a hand down his back.

"Shh… " he shushes him, rubbing his fluffy cheeks, willing him into silence when he chirps in reply. "You'll wake Sylvain up. It's okay. I'm here now." He gently pats him once more before standing up and knocking on the door.

"Dimitri?"

He knocks a second time and waits.

No answer.

He knocks a third time.

Still nothing.

The knob twists easily under his grip, the lock long gone after the first time Dimitri had a panic attack and locked himself in. Sylvain had destroyed it, bashing off the knob to get inside the bathroom when Felix wasn't answering his phone and Sylvain could hear Dimitri - his desperation bordering on hysteria - sobbing for _Felix_ , over and over.

They'd never replaced it.

The air inside the small room is humid and stifling, fogging the mirror and window. It instantly sticks to his skin and the inside of his lungs as he breathes. It's also extremely bright, and he hisses as he squeezes his eyes shut, slowly prying open one and then the other until he adjusts to the light. He sees the shower curtain is drawn, but there's no sound or movement beyond it. 

Felix approaches it and tries again, "Dimitri?"

Nothing.

Felix takes a deep breath and tries not to panic. He focuses on the feel of his bare feet padding across dampened tile, on staying calm and level headed, and breathing in and out in a steady rhythm.

_Shhhk._

The curtain rings sliding across the rod echo loudly in his ears. Sabre startles in response but comes to investigate.

Felix finds Dimitri, and his relief is palpable.

He's okay.

He's standing below the shower head, one hand braced on the wall, hair matted to his head, and staring into nothing.

He's okay.

Physically.

Felix briefly registers that Dimitri is still wearing his sleeping clothes, now completely drenched and plastered to his body. The water's running so hot it almost burns Felix when he touches it.

"Dimitri…" Felix murmurs, a lump in his throat as he wipes a lock of wet hair away from Dimitri's face, fingers brushing the tips of his eyelashes. Dimitri doesn't move a muscle, doesn't even blink when he does. Felix dials the water back until it slows and stops. It drips from Dimitri's hair, down his nose, over his slightly parted lips and drops to the base of the tub. 

Felix inhales and gently takes Dimitri's hands in his. Felix thinks one of them is trembling, and it takes him a moment to realize it's actually his own hands that are shaking.

"Come on then," he says, coaxing him out of the tub and onto the floor mat. "Let's get you dried off."

Dimitri doesn't respond, but Felix doesn't expect him to. He merely stands and waits as Felix dries his face with a towel, pushing his bangs out of the way. He lays the soft cotton over his head and towels off his hair, too. 

Sometimes Dimitri retreats and gets lost, travelling to far off places where Felix cannot follow. But Felix waits for him just the same. 

He isn't a patient man, but for Dimitri he waits and has waited a long time. Dimitri has proven, and _is_ constantly proving that he is someone worth waiting for. 

Worth caring for.

Felix thinks that in another life, as another Felix, he might have done the same thing he is doing now. He thinks that this other Felix would have also waited by Dimitri's side for the rest of his life, until one or the other breathed his last. Maybe it's what he's always meant to do.

He knows there isn't much he can do for Dimitri when he's like this, but he _can_ take care of the little things. Getting him out of these clothes and into something dry seems like a good place to start.

He removes the towel and combs Dimitri's hair back into place before turning his attention to his sopping wet clothes. Long sleeves cling to his arms, while the rest of the shirt conforms to his broad chest and shoulders and the ripples of his stomach; white stained translucent as his skin bleeds through. He starts at the cuffs, Dimitri's arms a dead weight as Felix peels the material from his body, up and over his head. It makes a wet slap as he tosses it into the tub. 

Next he works at Dimitri's pants and socks (which suggest to Felix that Dimitri hadn't even climbed under the covers at all because Dimitri doesn't sleep in socks) until he's completely bare. Felix meticulously dries off the rest of his body and places a fresh towel on the closed toilet seat.

"I'll be right back," he tells Dimitri after he's eased him into a seated position on the toilet. Again, there's no response. His eyes - one a dull and muddy blue, the other milky and unseeing - are trained on the far wall as Felix folds Dimitri's hands on his lap and presses a kiss to his forehead. Dimitri blinks as Felix's loose hair brushes against his cheek, but he otherwise remains as still as a statue.

Sabre stands post beside his master as Felix returns to his bedroom to pull together some clothes for Dimitri. 

-

Sylvain's door down the hall squeaks open just as Felix is about to re-enter the bathroom.

"Felix?" His voice is scratchy and his hair is a tousled mess as he pokes out his head, squinting at Felix. "What're you doing? Why're you awake…?"

"It's—

_Something happened._

—nothing, go back to bed."

Sylvain looks at the clothes in his hand, puzzled. "Are you taking a shower? It's… it's four a.m, dude."

"Yes," he replies a little too quickly. "It helps me sleep."

Sylvain gives him a dubious look, tapping his fingers against the door frame. "Seriously, what's wrong? You're white as a sheet. Did something happen with Dimitri?"

Felix frowns and looks away, hugging Dimitri's clothes tight to his chest. "It's fine. He's fine. He's…" He looks back at Sylvain, brow furrowing. "Do we have any chamomile? Do you know?"

"Oh, Felix…" Sylvain sighs in understanding as he runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I think we do. Let me just… I'm going to put some pants on first. I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Thanks…"

He appreciates that Sylvain is privy to this aspect of their lives because it makes things easier when Felix doesn't need to explain, but some days he thinks they rely on Sylvain too much for his emotional support. He's the one they both run to when they fight. He's the one Felix will crawl into bed beside when he's had a blowout with Dimitri, seeking nothing but the comfort of his proximity. They don't talk, they don't touch, and Sylvain pretends he doesn't notice when Felix turns his back to him to cry. He knows it's enough for Felix to know that if he needs Sylvain he's there.

But with Dimitri things are different. Felix has caught them sometimes, speaking in hushed tones together, Sylvain's comforting hand on Dimitri's arm, shoulder, or his back. Dimitri responds to touch differently than Felix does, with the propensity to actively seek it in a way Felix does not and will not. Sylvain insists that he doesn't mind, but Felix can see the lines they've worn into his face as surely as the path Felix wears into the floors of his home when he paces, seething and hot to touch after he and Dimitri have come to blows.

Verbal. Dimitri would never raise a hand to Felix.

The point is, Sylvain has his own struggles. He doesn't need to compound his own problems with theirs, but he does it anyway. Beneath his philandering, his bright smiles, his false cheer, Sylvain is damaged like they are. They can't help him the way he helps them, and he can't help them the same way Dr. Cichol does, but the world keeps on turning and Sylvain keeps on helping, and somehow Felix knows that maybe one day they'll approach something close to being okay. All of them.

One day.

For now, though, Felix tilts Dimitri's chin up and fits a dry t-shirt that smells of the floral scented detergent Dimitri likes over his head. His underwear and pants are more of a challenge, but little by little Dimitri responds to Felix's verbal commands, lifting his feet so Felix can swathe them in a clean pair of socks as well. Dimitri won't be sleeping any time soon, so there's no sense in letting his toes freeze on the cold tile of the kitchen.

Taking Dimitri's hand, Felix leads him into the kitchen where Sylvain idles by the stove, kettle set to boil. 

He looks up from his phone when they enter. "It shouldn't be too much longer," he says with a yawn, rubbing tears from his eyes.

"Thanks," Felix replies. He pulls out a chair for Dimitri to sit, and then one for himself, nearly collapsing into it with a heavy sigh. 

His adrenaline completely drained, the weight of his exhaustion threatens to force his eyelids closed as he struggles to stay awake. But he won't sleep. Not until Dimitri has found his way back.

"Dimitri…" he murmurs, scooting his chair closer, resting his hand on Dimitri's knee. Dimitri's eyes are closed and his breathing is slow and steady. Not asleep, but not fully conscious either. Felix's heart aches for him. He gives his knee a squeeze and waits.

After what feels like forever, Dimitri's hand finds Felix's.

He entwines their fingers so _so_ slowly as his eyes open.

Dimitri's mouth parts and Felix wants to kiss him, but again, he waits. Patient though he has no patience, he can give Dimitri time if he needs it. He's learning to push less, demand less from him when it would be too much. 

But Saints, does he want to. To remind Dimitri where he is, who he's with, that he's safe, he's alive.

That he's loved.

Felix drags his thumb over Dimitri's knuckles instead. The kettle begins to squeal, and Dimitri inhales sharply, shoulders tensing in surprise. He glances at the stove, at Sylvain, then back around to Felix.

"Oh…" Dimitri breathes, shoulders settling. He swallows, using his free hand to brush his bangs from his forehead. His hair has left water stains across his shoulders that he considers for a moment. 

"Hey," Felix says. "Welcome back."

Sylvain places a steaming cup of chamomile in front of him, and Dimitri curls his fingers around the handle, inhaling the scent of his favourite tea.

"Thank you," he says after a few minutes of silence. 

Felix leans over and kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> of all the pieces i'm most self-conscious of, it's probably this one  
> twitter: [@Bumblevetr](https://twitter.com/Bumblevetr)


End file.
